Monday, February 15, 2010

a not-so-quickie quickie

so i am back on the wagon after a week-long wander into carbland. i don't think a vegetable passed my lips for those four days!

monday, tuesday, and wednesday were stamped as epic failures and i wallowed in guilt until thursday when i decided i just needed a breather. i needed some time to think about stuff other than my weight. i realized during this self-imposed hiatus that the meal plan is not something i should be doing on a regular basis - only during busy times. this week i felt incredibly restricted and it just backfired completely. when i was forced to eat things that were not on the plan, i felt a complete loss of control. it was also demoralizing to think that i had spent sooo much of my time on something that i wasn't. even. using. anyway, i remembered that part of why i love ww is that it is flexible! my life is always crazy and i need to be able to let the program work for me. so, no more meal plans that are that strict...

anyways, in other news i am going away for spring break baby!



i'm pretty excited! booked my flight on thursday night, so all things are go... i am leaving in one week today! *shocked face*

i'm really looking forward to a vacation and having some me-time. christmas was a great break - but it felt like it was all go-go-go-go. i basically lived out of my car for a week travelling around to see friends and family. after new years i thought i would have time to chill/relax/figure out life... but i spent three days watching jersey shore and then it was back to the grind. no fair!

so this time i'm looking forward to five days of bliss on a beach and am working like a mad little bunny on homework so i can go with no assignments looming over my head. *sigh* such is the life of a student.

in other news, i am still training for the 5k. i increased my speed so i am back to intervals (blah). it's harder than i expected it to be at this point. i thought by this point i would just be used to running - maybe even enjoy it... but i still struggle around 5 - 10 mins, and after that a string of unmentionable curse words occupy my mind. hopefully this will change soon. at least i'm still at it? that's an accomplishment, right?! heck, i've been running since the beginning of november... four months dude. that's committment.

anyway i wanted to share a little story to finish off this post; something that reminded me of the importance of little steps going the distance.

well, last year around this time i weighed about 210 lbs. i had just started a new job and my supervisor weighed about the same as me after recently losing a lot of weight on ww. i found her weight loss really inspiring and so when i joined ww again back in the summer, i let her know. at that point she was maintaining her weight but was no longer doing the program.

i continued with ww during the summer, but come fall i lost motivation and spent two months off of the program. once the end of october rolled around, i realized i needed to get my crap together. a big motivator for me to rejoin was something i had written in my journal two years before; "...i don't want to be at this same place next year..."

it was really humbling reading that more than two years later. i still had the same goals and desires, and i had let myself be slack for way too long. it was positively unacceptable to think that a year from then things could still be the same. i wasn't going to allow it. i wouldn't continue to let my life pass by me unhappy and unfulfilled. i rejoined ww in october with a fresh resolve.

now for the neat part. since i started that job last year, which seems like aaaaages ago (but of course at the same time like yesterday) i have lost about 20 lbs. i'm happy for my accomplishments, including the weight loss, but sometimes get frustrated and feel like i could have done more.

the other day i went in to work and bumped into my old supervisor, whom i haven't seen for quite a few months. while we chit-chatted i couldn't help but notice that she has gained a lot of weight since the last time i saw her. probably 30 - 40 lbs.

something about seeing her made me swell with pride. i think it is because we started at the same point, but went two separate ways. i know that if i had made choices that did not put my health as a priority - being a member at ww, making healthy meals, going to the gym, etc. then i could very well be in the same spot as i was last year (my initial fear) or worse - have gained even more weight.

the sacrifices, decisions, and money that have gone in this journey haven't been wasted. and it's still just beginning! i know that the future has so much more for me...

have a great day bloggies!


Joe and Brittany said...

Great story!

Have fun on your vacation!

Miss Erika said...

Hey! Just wanted to drop by and say that I recently started following you, and I LOVE your blog. I'm also a student, so I totally sympathize with all the stress and healthy-eating murder that school can bring on. I've just started on my own expedition into Healthy Land, and college has already knocked me down a couple of times. But we get back up and keep on keepin' on, right? Hahaha. Stop by my blog if you like!

Kerri & Katie said...

the running will get easier! just don't give up or cheat yourself!

The Merry said...

Ooooh, Florida is looking really good to me right now... good choice :)

And while I enjoy having run, I don't usually stop thinking about stopping until I've been going for awhile. Though I do like how it affects the waistline!

Miss Erika said...

Hey, haven't seen you around in a while, but I've given you an award! Check out my blog to find out what it is! <3