Wednesday, August 27, 2008

stress eating

this week i've realized a few interesting things. interesting and important things.

first of all, i have to eat consistently. this is now my third week on WW, and so i'm getting into the swing of things. it's exciting because i am learning about my body. an apparent biggie is that i have to eat, like, all the time. it's like clockwork. i can track it. approximately every 2.5 - 3 hours, i start getting the hunger pangs. 4 hours and i'm ready to devour anything.

also, i really, really do use food as an emotional crutch. last week i had two headaches (unheard of for me), which i - dumbfounded - decided had to be related to all the stress i was under with school/work/finding a place to live. while i think it was the stress, i had a revelation this week that it is more than likely directly related to the fact that i normally cope with that stress by eating. now that i can't do that, my body is confused! i'm forced to feel and engage and not bury things with heaps of carbs and salt and sugar. what a pity. and so, folks, this is what withdrawl from a food addiction feels like.

it sucks. every night i get so uncomfortable because i'm hungry. my mouth actually starts to salivate at the thought of cereal. who could've guessed.

i suppose this is encouraging because it means i'm dippin' into fat stores, and this whole thing is working. and in fact, it is. i peeked at the scale the other morning and it read 211! it's there, guys and gals... right in my grasp. i'm so motivated to get to "onederland" - i'm tellin' ya, nothing is gonna stop me.

not even an indian wedding on friday night. gah. indian food. what else could be more comforting? i love it and it is definitely going to be challenging to draw the line. i will have to remember what happened today though. that will help me keep my eyes tame enough for my stomach...

yes... today i went to subway and i was absolutely starving. i definitely didn't eat enough for breakfast or lunch (they were about 7 pts combined) and it was 3 oclock. this was way over my 2.5 - 3 hour time frame and my body was screamin'. needless to say, i went in to subway and basically ordered the whole store. i got a footlong grilled chicken sub, soup, chips, and a cookie. plus an iced tea. it was glorious, it was wonderful. finally, i was full. there was still about 1/4 of the sub left, as well as half the soup, but i was full and feelin' good.

until we hit the mall. then i wasn't feelin' so hot. then i got a stomach cramp and could hardly walk. then, i began to feel sick. this was not going to be a day of pulling favors for highly suspect grilled chicken subs.

let's just say the rest is not such a nice story.

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