Sunday, August 10, 2008

travelling pants

so today presented it's first obstacle to being OP... celebrating my friends birthday at the local east side marios. i went in confident... and despite eating more than i should have, i definitely didn't eat as much as i would have on any normal outing!

i used my remaining 9 pts for the day, and 21 flex pts. i'm not worried because i know that's what they are there for. it was quite glorious actually. afterwards we went to see the sisterhood of the travelling pants part deux. it was really good! and i couldn't help but think of how much i like the look/style of alexa bledel in the movie...

aside from the fact that she is a stick and i'm, well, not - the style and look of her character in the movie is the same as mine and i might even venture we look a little bit alike. it's exciting because it makes me wonder what i will look like when i have finally lost this extra weight.

other than that - first meeting today. the leader seems really nice and supportive. i'm geared up for the next few weeks to reach my 10% goal.

two things were brought again into light tonight. one being the fact that i have gorgeous friends, who get a lot of male attention. i don't know what it is, but i always seem to notice this. when we walk into a restaurant or a mall, i always seem to catch guys checking them out. fatefully, i am always ignored. it's sounds petty but this really bothers me. i don't want to be the "fat friend" anymore. i'm tired of going unnoticed.

also, i'm discovering how truly obsessed with food i am. i've contemplated jotting down every time i think of food during a given day. it would probably be 25 - 30 times. i think i am noticing it more now because i have to shut myself down, whereas normally i would give in. giving in means a window of distraction for a few hours - that is, no thoughts of food. today i sat down to watch tv and must have thought about getting up to get a snack about 5 or 6 times. it was ridiculous! this illumination has provoked me to integrate a rehabilitation from "food obsession" into my short-term goals. i think this will go hand in hand with not turning to food for comfort, emotional or physical, and not eating from boredom.

more adventures to come.

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